Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
