Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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