Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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