You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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