Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
