Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
