The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize