I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
