Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
