Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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