brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize
