Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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