Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
