we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think people are normalizing furries
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
