Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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