can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
