we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
