she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
