At least make sure they are 18
Why
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
