But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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