last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
