Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
