I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
