Will you blow on my dice?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
