Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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