I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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