I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
MIDGETS
????
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
