I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
