i jhust puked up my retainher.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
