Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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