So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
