The maid of honor just puked.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
