the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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