...so i touched it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The air was thick with penises
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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