The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
