Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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