ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
