I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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