it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
