found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So many bounce houses so little time
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
