Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
