he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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