so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
