Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
