We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
