OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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