she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
