Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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