butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
