Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Duck Duck Cougar?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize