I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
