ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
