What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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