apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
