He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
