i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
