i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
