walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
