Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
