I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
