Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
