youre lurking in front of me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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